The Waiting Game

“Courage is looking fear straight in the face and saying, ‘Get the hell out of my way! I’ve got things to do!'”

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Tomorrow is game day! And by tomorrow I mean today, since it’s now past 1 AM. This has been quite the week- filled with crafts, Breaking Bad, some awkward social drama, and a lot of anxiety provoking down time. This week was emotionally strenuous and mentally exhausting. These highly
skilled surgeons will be extracting my thyroid and changing my life forever.It’s kind of a lot to think about, and it made the entire week crawl by- but here I am! T minus 9 hours and counting. The suer is scheduled for 10:30, so we need to be there around 8:30 to prep. That means we have to leave here around… 6AM. Yay for Boston traffic!

What I thought would be the most anxious-filled night of my life (okay.. maybe not the worst– but still pretty anxiety provoking!), has turned out to be one of the nicest nights I’ve had in a long time. It’s really great when you find those not-so-average people to be part of your support team who will talk to you until 1:30 in the morning. I really appreciate the reminder that I’m not going through this alone.

Telling people has become almost a challenge. Its not necessarily what to say, its who I decided to tell. A family friend of ours brought up a good point- when you tell people before something starts, you’re telling them you need them. The more I think about it, the harder it is to decide who I really want by my side. Some people I have chosen to tell once the ball is rolling, but others simply found out due to timing. All I know for sure is that I’m beginning to realize the kinds of people I want and need- people who can be called upon for strength and are able to deliver without so much as a word.

I guess I should probably get some rest. I had a very calming 3.5 hour face time with someone who had continued to surprise me everyday since we met. I know that whatever happens, I’d really like him to be right there with me and the rest of my team.

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